Our Man in Hanoi

the big finish

If this was Our Man in Hanoi - The Movie we'd just be gearing up for the big finish.

Brad Pitt, because who else would play me? Would be strung out and nicotine deficient as he buzzed around the city on a xe om, battling the forces of darkness in order to save KOTO.

Okay so  there's no forces of darkness, and I'm no Brad Pitt but you get the gist.

This is the plot to date: former office worker goes overseas, falls in love with new home, re-evaluates life yadda yadda yadda.  It makes you laugh.  It makes you cry.  It keeps you on the edge of your seat.

And now.  Well in just under two weeks we have the KOTO bike ride.   At the same time we are battling to get a new restaurant open.

Add to that, just starting at KOTO, as of two weeks ago, are 30 kids.  All are from the toughest of backgrounds.  They're still finding their feet but I think they're going to be a great class  Right now though we're still at the settling them in phase.  It's a very big, labour intensive job for the teachers.

Oh and I finish at KOTO.  For good.  In 17 days.

So this is how it's panning out.  As I just said, I finish in 17 days.  The bike ride is in 12 days.   We're planning to have the bike ride party in the new restaurant.  Will it be ready?  Hmmm.  That'll be tight.  I extended my stay here to see the restaurant finally opened.  Will I see it during my time at KOTO?

Good question. 

Because Our Man in Hanoi - The Movie has a big twist.  As Brad (ie me) and his colleagues rush around the city righting wrongs etc, there comes over the hill the spectre of....APEC.

Vietnam is very good or very bad at getting events like this organised, depending on your point of view.  In short, what they do is they just close everywhere and cancel everything that isn't directly APEC related.  For the most part they seem absolutely petrified that foreign guests might realise that there is just a little bit of traffic chaos here most of the time (really, there is, just a little).  So they close the roads. Genius.

And building trucks?  You know the kind that, err, builders use.  To take away rubble from new restaurants?  They're banned.  Delivery trucks, the kind that might say, deliver milk to a restaurant that sells a lot milkshakes and coffee - they can't get near.  And buses, the kind that might bring tour groups - well they aren't allowed to park on the road outside anymore.  Oh and visas aren't being processed.  The visa of the tourists, who sit on buses to restaurants, which park outside restaurants which make coffees and milkshakes.

So it goes on.  The twist in the tale of Our Man in Hanoi - The Movie.

But what of the bike ride?  It's going to be big.  Huge.  Massive.  It HAS to be big.  We need it to be big because as ever we need the money.  New restaurants, now so incredibly close after 25 months work from all the staff here, don't come cheap.

But if we get that big bike ride and if we finish that restaurant, then those 30 new Class Ten kids are going to be part of something really special.  KOTO is on the threshold of the holy grail of NGOs - sustainability AKA a FUTURE.  Thanks to a big restaurant that seats lots of people, who pay good money, to eat great food, to pay for the Class Tens, Elevens, Twelves etc etc..

And, if somehow we make something happen out of all the madness above, the movie will draw to a close as Brad (ie me) xe om's off into the sunset.  He's waved off by hundreds of happy kids spilling out of every door and window of the magnificent new KOTO restaurant.  Brad laughs as he turns down a cigarette from the driver and they head for the airport.

                                    THE END

FILMING IS ABOUT TO START ON THE SEQUEL TO OUR MAN IN HANOI - THE MOVIE.  TO BE BE CALLED OUR MAN IN ****** IT'LL BE FILMED ENTIRELY ON LOCATION IN *******.

Okay okay, enough messing around.  Just sign up to the bike ride.  Go on.  Come on make it a blinder.  I want the happy ending. Do it.

Oh and If you want the hard sell then take a look at the picture above.  That's about two thirds of the kids helped by KOTO since this project started up.  Helped is an understatement.  KOTO gave them careers.  Careers that paid for little brothers and sisters to stay in school.  For parents to rebuild homes.  For them to find safe places to live.  More than that, it paid for them to have a life that wasn't just about struggle.  Something that I remind myself of every time I see them whizzing about on their motorbikes that they paid for themselves through their own hard work. 

Click the picture to see the big version.  Then read what I just wrote again and apply that to everyone of the kids you can see.  How many families is that helped?  How many brothers and sisters will be able to finish school?  How many of those kids literally wouldn't be alive without KOTO?

Now go sign up for the bike ride.

a quick smug post

Still no cigarettes.  It's been over three weeks. 

I rule.

hey there singapore canon dude

Somebody from Canon in Singapore is checking out this blog a lot.

They started by repeatedly Googling hanoi, apec, canon and now they've bookmarked me.

No doubt they are particularly interested in this post.  It concerns the rather ugly Canon billboards that are wrecking the beauty of Hanoi's Hoan Kiem lake.  More pics here. 

Anyway, seeing as Canon Dude is checking back a lot.  And seeing that all the commenters and people I have spoken to in general, think that the signs are really ugly, it's good that they are taking note.

So if you want to send them a message then either add a comment here.  Or blog about it yourself and their regular Googling will mean that soon enough they will find your blog too.

In the meantime, Canon Dude, just what were you thinking?  And when are they coming down?  They are coming down, aren't they?  Go on, live up to your slogan.

Thanks for popping by Canon Dude.

Update:  Since posting this a message has appeared on the post below, claiming to be from a Vietnamese national in Hanoi and saying how much they like the signs.  I checked out their IP number.  They may be Vietnamese but they are not in Hanoi.  They're in Singapore.  And they work for Canon.  You guessed it.  Oh Canon Dude.  How could you?  Shame on you.

do you agree?

From my experience the thoughts below from Lisa are not accurate.  I would say it is an absolutely massive generalisation - and more wrong than right.

Any thoughts?

She writes:

"...Vietnamese people are always lookin' for some way to leave for America and most of them learn English just to do that or to at least go to another country."

I'm willing to concede that this is written by a Saigon dweller rather than me, a  Hanoian, which probably gives them a different point of view. But I am intrgiued to see if fellow HCMCers agree. But I can honestly say I have yet to meet a single Vietnamese person here who has expressed a wish to leave.  But I have met a few who have come back.

oh no, what did they just do?

This is just awful.

Some genius somewhere has decided that as part of the preparations for the upcoming APEC fun and games, Hanoi should completely surround it's beautiful Hoan Kiem lake with huge great ugly signs.

Yes, genuinely you can't see the beautiful lake in some places for nasty lit up signs with pictures actually advertising the lake.  Pictured above is a guy doing tai chi in front of a sign showcasing people doing..err...tai chi.  Elsewhere the view of the pagoda is blocked by shots of high rises and industrial estates. It is ugly. Other signs include ludicrous shots of girls in national dress riding bicycles in Hanoi - who are they kidding?  They are every 20 yards around the lake.  There are dozens of them.

A colleague told me he nearly cried when he saw them.  Marianne is not impressed. I have heard no one with anything but harsh words for them.  Head of the list for a major arse kicking and public humiliation has to be Canon who have sponsored the signs.  Their logo and, surely ironic, slogan appearing on each of them.

Hoan Kiem is Hanoi's saving grace.  It is the untouchable.  The Old Quarter is just beautiful but only because its crazy compact nature is offset by the space offered by the adjacent lake.  However noisy Hanoi gets the lake seems to offer serenity.  On the hottest, sweatiest days, Hoan Kiem might just be your best bet for a bit of a breeze.

It's a place of legends and history.  It is stunning.  Even as I start to think about moving on from Vietnam it is the one place here that I am still in awe of.  On occasions, when I am stressed, I walk around it.  All human life is there couples, old dears in conical hats, smiling teenagers having fun, groups of ladies doing aerobics.  It is incredible. It makes me smile on the worst days.

And now it is ringed by this eyesore.  Canon what are you thinking of?

They all seem of a very sound and solid structure.  But please I hope they are just temporary.  Once APEC is over I hope they are going.  Surely no one would be stupid enough to leave these permanent monstrosities here. 

Would they?

* All the pictures here.

last gasp

Vietnam is a smoker's heaven.

When I first got here I smoked Vinataba.  They're roughly 25p a pack.

Two months later they were all I could taste from the moment I woke up.  I noticed too that my already non-pearly white teeth were further yellowing.  I switched to Marlboro.  A whopping 40p a pack.

Compare that to home when, last time I was there, they were £5.

So smoking in Vietnam is kind of a bargain.  It's social too.  Smoking with the guys at work is what you do.  Guy things include bia hoi, smoking and coffee.  Girls eat fruit and drink tea.  I think it's fair to say we have the best end of the deal.

And I have noticed just how many volunteers smoke.  I wonder if they rationalise it the same way I do.  The longer I do this, the longer I am not paying into my pension.  Simple.....instead I'll invest in smoking, then I won't need a pension.

Joking aside there is something in the smoker that lives for the day.  The habit maybe bad but the sentiment isn't necessarily.

Smoking in Hanoi is easy.  While the west is slowly marginalising the smoker, in Hanoi you can light a cigarette in a restaurant and nobody complains.  I've smoked through meetings.  In trains you have the corridors and my morning xe om routine is buy egg butty, put it in xe om's basket, put on sunglasses, switch on the music, light a cigarette and let's go.

I'll leave the dangers of smoking piece and the effect of tobacco on Vietnam to someone else.  It's all valid but my heart isn't in it.

Because, I've just smoked my last cigarette.

Okay so I'm partly writing this so that I'm shamed into keeping it up.

But after a long hot summer when it was too stifling to do anything but drink iced coffee and smoke, I feel lousy.  I've worked from my bed today as I've been hit by a second bug in a month.  I reckon my immune system must be at an all time low.  I feel crap.

So the cigarettes have got to go.  It's a tough time to do it with the new restaurant and the bike ride not far away.  But these things can work in your favour.  Past attempts to quit have at least lasted a few months and in that time I have this incredible nervous energy.  No doubt it's as irritating as hell to live with but handy for getting things done.

Sometimes I invent things to do simply because I can't sit still.

So be warned.  I'm going to be a pain.  If you're giving up then Vietnam turns from cigarette heaven to absolute hell.  There will be no hiding from the omnipresent Vinataba.

Shame.  I really fancy one right now too.

four wheels bad

Tonight's trip home on the back of a xe om was no fun.

Sad really, it used to be my favourite part of the day.  Of course you can put some of this down to becoming a little Vietnam jaded.  It's nothing new any more.

But the roads are becoming undeniably more busy.  In recent months my regular xe om driver has had several incidents with me on the back when we've scraped other bikes with my elbows.  Contact was hardly ever made in my early days here, he was far too skilled to let it happen.

Tonight we were nearly forced off the road by a big white taxi.  I forgot the usual zen like Vietnamese approach and made sure the driver knew what I thought of him.  It's the cars that are the problem.

The motorbikes are a feature of Hanoi.  Arguably they are a tourist attraction in their own right.  And their numbers are growing.  Environmentalists argue that the car trip of one person per vehicle is ludicrous.  With that line of thinking, five on a bike isn't so bad.

But the cars are taking over.  Of course not in terms of numbers, although they are growing.  It's their size that makes them the bullies of the road.  Vietnamese roads may look like chaos but there is a code.  I watch what's in front of me.  You be careful not to run into the back of me.  Each person concentrates on what's ahead and trusts the others behind to watch out for them. 

But the cars are the more dominant.  Despite being the minority they push everyone else around.  Motorbikes don't cause traffic jams.  They're too fluid.  Too agile.  Too flexible.  For the most part they sweep around and ebb through difficulties.

It's the cars that cause the difficulty.

The typical old quarter traffic jam?  One car parked.  Another car trying to drive past it.  That is all it takes.  And the bikes get stuck behind it, their numbers growing by the second.

It is starting to get out of control.  There is a danger of cars wrecking this city.  And the penchant for SUVs makes it so much worse.  There can be few places in the world less suitable to an SUV than Hanoi.  There is a charitable organisation which I regularly pass on my way home, which has a fleet of SUVs that are forever stopping the traffic.  I'd be ashamed if I worked for them.  They obviously have too much money and its not being spent wisely.

I've seen Hummers parked here and I've just thought: "What kind of idiot...?"

But then again I guess I think the same at home.

Vietnam is making an environmentalist out of me.  The damage that is being done is forever in your face.

As you may recall I recently holidayed down in Phu Quoc.  My trip was a day after the typhoon.  While the south of the country had not suffered like the central area it was still pretty badly buffeted.

We arrived the following day and the sea in front of our bungalow was a stew of plastic bags.  Swimming was impossible.  There was so much rubbish, churned up by the storm, that the only blue you could see was of the ubiquitous plastic bags that carry everything in this country.  It was one of the saddest things I have seen here (pictured below).

Our resort hosts worked tirelessly to clear it.  They were plainly embarrassed by it but it wasn't their mess.  It had been thrown up and out by the rivers and streams and while it wasn't normally on show in such a horrific way, it was always out there, growing and accumulating.

I sometimes think that Vietnam doesn't realise just what it has.  Just how special it is.  Its unique atmosphere, its beautiful countryside.  I worry that its tourist industry will be killed.  I worry that, for the locals, the quality of life will deteriorate in adverse proportion to the rises in standard of living.

I fear for the future of this country in a totally different way than I used to.  I used to fear for the poverty and I now I'm fearful of over industrialisation.

It's hard to live in Hanoi without being a part of it too.  Buy a single tub of yoghurt and it comes with a throw-away plastic spoon and it's bagged up.  Buy rice crackers and each cracker has its own individual wrapping.  Even sauce from a takeaway or sugar cane juice off the street is bagged.

As for transport.  Well the bikes are the lesser of the evils as far as I can see compared to cars.  The buses are actually pretty good.  I'm ashamed I don't use them more.  But I guess a few more pedestrianised areas and bus only lanes might force me and others.

Well its getting cooler again here.  Time to get the bicycle out.

one of those things I couldn't tell you about but now I can

So, as the poster says.  We're moving.  After two years of struggle, KOTO will, finally, next month, relocate to new premises.  And after looking all over this city and facing countless problems along the way, well...we're moving next door.

Late in our search the site became available and the more we thought about it, the more it seemed like the answer to all our problems. No lost customers. No people with outdated Lonely Planets trying to find us. No starting from scratch again in building up our clientele.

The rest in the series of new home posters here.  More questions answered on our new restaurant are here.  Hopefully good times are right next door.  You should see the place.  It's going to be beautiful and its huge too, easily big enough for 120 diners.  That's double our current capacity.

If you have any questions I haven't answered at the link above feel free to leave them in the comment box.

Oh and one of the first events to take place at the new site is likely to be KOTO's 5th annual Ba Vi bike ride.  Go to www.kotobikeride.com . If you have a blog link us.  If you're in Hanoi then join us for the day.  Honestly, PR spin and cheesiness aside, it is a fantastic day.

* Pic below shows our old and new restaurants side by side.  The new place is the big, bright, white building disappearing about the tree tops.

ride is on. i'm off

Okay first things first: the KOTO bike ride is now launched.  Read about it and sign up here.

Trust me, if you're in Hanoi on Saturday November 25th this is a fabulous day.  It'll also be just a couple of days before I finally leave KOTO so it's going to be a special event for me.

Elsewhere all that stuff I can't tell you about (see below) is progressing nicely.  And I...err...still can't tell you about it.

With working always hectic, for the last few months I've been trying to get away but there has always been something in the offing that has disrupted it.  Now it's the last chance before new restaurants and bike rides take up all my time.

I'm heading back to Mango Bay at Phu Quoc.  One of my most favourite places in Vietnam. You may recall that was where I went when I was losing it a little back in the Spring. It was just beautiful.

I'll be back in Hanoi at the end of the week ready for all that upcoming hard work.

Flights are very early tomorrow and I'm hoping that they'll make it through the horrific weather in the centre of Vietnam as I head for the south coast island. 

Apparently we're in for a week of thunderstorms on the island.  I don't care.  Bring it on.  A break is a break and whether it is sunning myself or watching the storm from the hammock on my verandah - it's all good.

* Pic above is from the bike ride launch earlier this week.  Alongside me (in the centre) are Phong and Michael from ride sponsors Handspan. Below are images of past bike rides.  Sign up.  You know you want to.

a lot of stuff I can't really tell you about

Okay so it's time I did a catch up.

My apologies for the lack of posts.  I know it's been a while.  It's more down to so much happening, rather than so little  But forgive me if I hint at things for a while rather than spell them out.

First of all the "New Home for KOTO" campaign. To quickly recap...two years ago when I first got here and started work for KOTO, I learned that the KOTO restaurant lease had run out and we needed to move out fast.

No restaurant = no income and no training.  Without those there would be no KOTO.  It was unthinkable.

We've looked at nearly 100 sites for the restaurant.  We've fundraised like mad.  We've started work on two separate sites only for problems, which we couldn't possibly have foreseen, forcing us to start again.

In the meantime we've been able to negotiate short extensions to our lease. But our problems remain the same.

The last set of bad news was the lowest point since I have been here.  A lack of cash and sheer energy nearly spealt the end for all of us.

But, incredibly,  despite morale being at an all time low at the time, no one quit, no one jumped ship.  Staff and volunteers stood shoulder to shoulder.  There was no finger pointing or complaining.

And maybe, just maybe we've cracked it.  There's no way we're going to make any announcements because we've done that before and we've ended up looking silly.  But news is good.

In short I have extended till Christmas and I expect this whole thing to be well and truly over by then.  And...well, I have dreams about that opening night.  When we've shooed the last VIP out of the door. The staff sit down, breathe a sigh of relief, pour a beer each, clink glasses and say: "We f**king did it."

Then we'll all grin like idiots.

It's going to be the greatest day in many of our lives.  And it will be worth waiting for.  So keep it here.

In addition, before Christmas I have one more KOTO bike ride to organise. We're currently finalising the date of it.  You may recall it went off like a charm in 2005. In 2004, well we did it, but it wasn't exactly clockwork.

Literally a couple of days afterwards I'll be finishing at KOTO.  I'm returning home to the UK for a month for a well earned break and to take care of a bit of business that will allow me to work abroad a little longer.  In January, I'll return to Vietnam.

From there I will be here till spring doing whatever work I can find.  I've something else lined up after that.  Hmm....can't tell you about that either though.  Not yet, not until my new employers rubber stamp it and I ask their permission to write about it.  It's going to be wild though.  I haven't been this excited in a long time.  New horizons, new challenges.  A new part of the world.

And of course, this being something of a mish mash of a post, that's all been a bit matter of fact, if a little less than revealing.  But of course it isn't.  The new KOTO will be simply huge and there is so much work to do.  I'm responsible for doing a very small corner of it.  There are some fantastic people within KOTO who are taking on a lot more than I am or ever could.  They are doing an awesome job.

Then there is leaving KOTO.  It will break my heart.  I honestly can't even contemplate yet it but I know it is the right thing to do.  I have extended my VSO contract to see this whole new home thing out. This has gone way beyond voluntary work.  I'm not even sure I am doing it for the right reasons.  I've been involved in it since the outset, nobody is going to rob me off that chance to have that beer on opening night.  I want that so badly.

But there is a reason why VSO send us here for a two year post.  I've just waved goodbye to the people who came with me.  They are tired and ready to return home.  I am tired too.  Very tired.  I'm holding on by my fingernails a little.  The long hot summer has worn me out.  Noise seems louder than ever before.  Traffic seems worse. Getting up in the morning is hard. Vietnam, in general, just seems tough going right now. Like I said, two years is the perfect length of time for a volunteer.  It's very nearly time to leave.

Vietnam like KOTO made me think at times that I would stay forever.  I now know that I won't.  But in some capacity I have learned (I think), that I will do "this" forever.  I'm craving more adventures.

Like everyone when I finally leave Vietnam I will have that last minute "am I doing the right thing" panic.  It is a wonderful place.  Don't ever let anyone tell you different.  And I'm jealous of every new expat and backpacking arrival because they get to see it with fresh eyes.  But maybe each of us have our own leave by date.

I'll expand upon all of these themes in later posts.  I'll announce the "new home" details on here just as soon as I can.  Expect photos of the renovation, the opening night and a stack of our wonderful trainees settling into their new restaurant.  It is going to be so beautiful.

And expect the blow by blow of the leaving of KOTO.  Closing a door on the most wonderful time of my life.  I can't even type that without becoming misty eyed.

Oh and more details of my that next adventure soon.

* Pic was taken today in Hanoi.