v noisy
I was just about to write about noise. Your world revolves around noise here.
I was at a friends last night who, like Martin, has a dog next door that barks constantly.
My friends are environmental volunteers, animal lovers and vegetarians but they are starting to hate that dog. Although not as much as the bloke who keeps it in a tiny cage day and night.
This weekend, I escaped the noise of Hanoi. It's widely accepted expat knowledge that you have to occasionally or you'll go nuts.
So I got out to V Resort. It's a hotel, set in beautiful grounds at the foothills of the mountains in Hoa Binh. A huge pool, nice breezes, beautiful views. It's very much a Vietnamese resort and that's cool, but something to bear in mind if you are a westerner.
Because, despite its isolation, wildly over amplified karaoke tends to blare out in the evenings. Not entirely unpleasant and the decibels, at least from a safe distance, are still less than the usual Hanoi assorted cacophony.
In fact, we sat by the pool with drinks on the Saturday night and said"Ahhhh perfect peace".
Then we listed again and said:
"Well, except for the karaoke."
"...and the hotel extension building work."
"...and the screaming kids"
Etc etc.
The point being, that we had both been here so long that it seemed quite quiet in comparison.
On the Sunday, before checkout, we were catching a last couple of hours' pool time.
Then a works trip caught up with us. Half the pool (not the two foot deep kids area, the proper swimming bit) was roped off. Then 20 or 30 people in multi coloured head scarves denoting teams arrived.
All were shrieking, screaming and talking loudly at 100mph. Worse, a guy with a megaphone arrived.
There is something about amplifying voices here. From what I have seen the lowliest, poorest, schools own, or at least regularly rent, impressive amplification equipment. People who I work with, who haven't a clue how to use, say, a computer, know how to plug in, switch on, mix and amplify a microphone.
Stick a mic in the hand of an average westerner and he'll tap it nervously and look a little daunted. Not here.
The guy poolside at V Resort, was using the megaphone to talk to people two feet away. He was using it to carry out normal conversations. And whenever he wanted wider attention, he sounded an ear splitting siren.
While I really didn't want to be the western wimp, I decided to go and, as respectfully as I could, speak to reception. My pool had been taken, and any chance of just quietly reading my book was also gone.
As ever, the desk staff were so sweet, attentive as ever, incredibly friendly and honestly tried to be so helpful. But I couldn't for the life of me make her understand why it was an issue with me.
I told her I had spent a not inconsiderable sum in order to escape the Hanoi noise and to relax in peace and quiet.
By way of explanation she reminded me that there was so many of them and only one of me.
She told me that it would only be for two hours.
Two hours? Arrrrrrgggh.
And as sympathetic as she tried her hardest to be, you could see that she didn't really understand my problem.
That is the way of the noise thing here. I remember bouncing off the walls at work when there had been drilling next door all day. I asked a colleague if it was making them nuts too and they said: "What noise?"
Strange, I just realised as i was writing this I can still hear building work. I hadn't noticed it before. Now it's bugging me.
Neighbour's kids will play shoutey games at 6am and late into the night. People in cafes will slowly work through every ring tone on their phone at the next table to you. Then they'll check them all again or invite their friends to join in the cell phone jam session.
Or you'll trek to a tranquil beauty spot only to be joined by a group of people who will play Vina pop from their tiny MP3. Tinny disco beats played by even tinnier speakers. If the speakers are bust and vibrating then you will be the only one that notices.
It's not just the level of the noise that disturbs. I've sat in bars only to flee on the sixth or seventh consecutive playing of the same record.
Of course though, it's the pace, noise and sher explosian of life that makes Hanoi, in so many ways, so appealing. That vibrancy can be just beautiful. Hanoi is so teenage, so full of life. It's bursting at the seams with people and traffic. It's incredible.
And, it seems, the noise is all new. All modern. Karaoke is part of the culture but has been here less than a generation. Long time expats never tire of telling you, as they gesture towards the revving motorbikes that, 10 years ago "... this was all bicycles".
So is the noise a celebration? Is noise still so new, so different and such a reflection of positive modern times that it is hard for local people to be angry at it? Does noise equal prosperity? Is it joyfully replacing a dour silent existence of the bad old days?
Are Vietnamese people not only able to ignore noise but actually enjoy the absence of silence?
Maybe. But not entirely.
Because I do recall leaving an expat bar late at night. Music was playing loud if not hugely so. And just as we were leaving a massive stone plant pot broke in front of me on the pavement. Looking up, it had obviously been hurled from several stories.
It transpired that it was thrown by an irate neighbour who was tired of the bar's noise. Likewise another expat i knew suffered banging on the walls from his neighbours if he was watching films with too many explosions. So when does a noise annoy?
As ever with Vietnam. No answers. Only questions.
And a headache.
* I should point out that V Resort is actually not bad at all. It's one of the few out-of-town but easily reached spots from Hanoi and isn't too badly priced. The pool is beautiful. I will be back. It's still a hell of a lot quieter than Hanoi.




















